Visual Coaching Demo with Christina Merkley

Christina Merkley

Now, bringing your consciousness back to your now adult self who's in front of him. You're his future self. What are your natural instincts? You're a father, are you not? So in a way, you're going to be a father to your younger self. What are your instincts, just like you would have for your own child? Here's this little one at five who's feeling pushed aside, hurt and lonely. He's having some big emotions. What are your natural instincts?

Tobi

I pick him up, I give him a hug.

Christina Merkley

Yay, please. So, picking up that little five-year-old and giving him a hug.

Tobi

And I say, it's okay.

Christina Merkley

It's okay. Anything else?

Tobi

Coaching is about the future, therapy is about the past. This stereotypical distinction is maybe something you have also heard already. But if it's at all true, on this coaching demo we break the rules and the borders get blurry. It is with Christina Merkley, who you might have met already on the last episode.

Christina Merkley

In front of us is this self-inquiry map. And I could do this blank, but we're going to begin with something. And right off the bat, I know we're beginning with the mind. So, we know there's a demo here, so I'll just put in demo, which is a little different from a usual situation, but the rest is going to be totally normal. So first off, your mind came in here, so I'm just going to be step by step with inquiry. We meet what is in the now. And I'll be saying, as you saw in the satsang, I always think of when people would be in my living room, I had a big glass coffee table, I'm just laying things on the coffee table between us. It's up to you whether you want to pick them up, and if you do pick them up, how it affects you. You are the boss through this whole thing. I'm just tracking your consciousness. So I might offer some things out, they're just a starting place. I offer those things out, some of them may or may not land. They will impact your being, your system, in their own unique ways. So I'm just always asking, how's it going over there? What are you noticing in yourself, in your body, in your energy field, however you want to think of it? You cannot do this wrong. So I ask things, I'll be like, oh, okay. And it'll show itself to us. And you'll see as we go along, but we start somewhere and there's this whole route that will happen. Hence the graphic having this little arrow, right? I'm just going to map, as we step by step meet things, I'm going to map them, so you see the journey as we go along. And at the end there's going to be something good, we'll leave you at the end, right? It's going to be a more integrated state, more aha, more realization or

Tobi

Yeah. So what my mind brought was the intention to bring an authentic issue that I have in my life right now. And there are actually two things that came to mind from this week, and what they had in common was this: I want to become less dependent on other people's emotional state. To leave their being upset to them, and maybe also, if they have a different opinion, not to be bothered by it. To be able to let go of that and go about my ways.

Christina Merkley

So, first off, thank you, thank you. That's great. So if you don't want to be dependent on them and their emotions, flip that into, what does that tell you about what you do want? You want to be what? What's the opposite of dependent?

Tobi

I would like them to be happy, but at the same time I would also like me to not depend on their happiness. And I know I'm repeating myself.

Christina Merkley

See, what you're demonstrating is such a thing that so many of us do, and it's so great that it's coming out, which is, we associate through the negative. So I'm getting you to just stretch it a little bit further. It's so familiar, right, to be dependent and other-focused, and how they're feeling impacts how you feel. To go beyond that is very difficult, even to think about it and language it, it is so difficult, because there's a neural link going on here. Deep bows to that neural link, because that other focus, or worry, or caring about how they feel, that's another protector here. It's in the caregiving realm, or the other-focused realm. Anything that focuses on others usually is a caregiving or empathy kind of realm. It might be controlling too, right, to get them to be happy so you can be happy. But I'm hearing in your tone some sort of caregiving stuff. I don't have to fully understand it all, but I can respect it and bow to it too, because it's another kind of coping mechanism. This being other-focused, focused on others' feelings. Now, that's been the usual conditioning, that's been the usual pattern. I've written the word longing. So your vision is, yeah, I don't want to do that anymore, I want to do something different. So now we're defining the different. So if you're not dependent on other people and how they feel over there, what does that mean? That you're sovereign, you're independent, you've got a buffer, you're over in your own.

Tobi

I think I would be able to trust in their healing, and that would enable me to let go and be at peace. And maybe, in order to get some color, I can actually share a bit of the context. So this was an incident where we are planning an event in my home village. We would have to travel there, and we can join forces with friends we have there. And I talked with a friend about it, and I wasn't fully sure if we can make it happen, because that depended on some other people I had to check back with. And I had told her, most likely we can make it happen. Then I talked to the other people, they were not happy with the date, and so I told her that, and it was an evening WhatsApp message, and she turned out to be very upset when I said, okay, maybe it doesn't work out. And my reaction was, wow, why? From my mind I came and just gave her an update on what these other people told me. And she was very upset, and it was like 10:30 pm in the evening, and I had a hard time going to bed and letting that go. Even though, for myself on a cognitive level, I was like, okay, most likely I will figure it out with these other people tomorrow and it will be fine. It will work out. But even if not, it will be fine, we will just do these events apart and that's also fine.

Christina Merkley

You said your mind was getting it, logically, but something else was going on. So was it in the body that was having a different kind of reaction? And if so, what was the reaction? What did you notice?

Tobi

Now that I'm talking about it, I sort of feel the tightness that I sensed from her, in this needs-to-go-that-way. And I can feel that in my body, sort of

Christina Merkley

That body, that tightness.

Tobi

around my lungs, I would say. It's hard to breathe, to be wide.

Christina Merkley

Lungs, hard to breathe. Okay. So, just, thank you, thank you, because we're getting some information. Our minds don't have to fully understand what it means now, but just my natural compassion, my awe, is coming on, because it's your body's. And you, maybe even talking about it, it summons it up again. There was this real discomfort that you experienced. Your mind was like, logically I get it, blah blah blah, but the body was really having a visceral reaction, particularly in the lungs. Just, aw. Hi, dear body. Hi, dear lungs. Aw. Now, this is going to be the exile, just to tell you, just to jump right into parts. There's something from somewhere in the past that's connected to whatever was going on there with a friend, and the reaction and everything. It's more in the emotional, somatic terrain than it is in the mind terrain. And you've given me, you want to be able to trust their process and you want to be able to be in your own peace, rather than being dependent or bothered. So I'm just going to put dependent and bothered in here, because that's where you started. And this beautiful longing: I want to be independent, sovereign, trusting in somebody's own

Tobi

They can expand.

Christina Merkley

Ooh.

Tobi

There is space created as I watch them.

Christina Merkley

Yeah. See how amazingly quickly consciousness can respond. So that deserves a thank you. Thank you. And, hey, mind, presence. Look at the power of being, mind, to the doer. Hey, doer, that's all you have to do, is go be with it. Your doer is kind and it's so ready for this. It's just a delight, Tobi, to be doing this with you. To point out to your doer that it can do that, and that it's a doing, and that it's very valuable, because the mind will get the efficiency. You told me earlier you're an engineer by background, and thank you, thank you, because you're able to do all this stuff for us right now because of those engineering abilities. So, hey, doer, engineer, let me add being to your repertoire. See how productive that was? Two seconds and then it expanded. That'll probably make your mind go, I can see the efficiency of being.

Tobi

I like that. Giving the doer the job of being.

Christina Merkley

A lot of minds aren't ready for that. Yours is so ripe for this, it happened in two seconds, that's so awesome. Getting the power of being. In a funny way, even though we don't necessarily do it for that, because it's a gift in and of itself, it's productive. Because that settling, that relief, that expansion that happens through the being, from a productivity point of view, because I come from high performance and everything, it's where it's at. From that place we can perform even better. It's an oxymoron from the western trained mind, where I think, we must push through, tension, all that kind of stuff. No: looseness, expansion. Worth its weight in gold. For ourselves, but it's also an attraction factor. That more relaxed nervous system, that relief, that fluidity, that being stuff, that's a very powerful place to create from.

Tobi

Yeah, like expanding, giving it a bit of perspective, brings up this word of the exile that you wrote there.

Christina Merkley

Good point. So, mind has an excellent mind, it's right. I kind of left that alone for now, but it's like, hey, what's going on there? Probably that thing that happened with that person and your reaction to it is going to have roots, because it happened so fast. It tells us that there's a pattern there, there's a conditioning there. So, if your mind really wants to know, we can poke around it a little bit to go, is that a familiar feeling? Where have you felt dependent and bothered about somebody else's feelings over there, anger, and the lungs contracted? And go with your first reaction, because that's a certain cocktail of emotions and we're looking for the match with that person, with that short little interaction and what she did and how your body responded. Where's the match? Where else have you felt that same combo? Where does it bring you to? It might be another person.

Tobi

I guess, in the village that all of this is also set in, that is also the village that I grew up in, and it's been a lot about belonging. That's the theme of my youth, to some extent. A theme of my father, I believe, even. Because you have this small set of people that you are, if I want to phrase it negatively, stuck with. And I think that is sort of the fear that was coming up for me: am I now putting the relationship with this friend at risk?

Christina Merkley

Well, and in a small village we really want to be respectful. I know some of this generally, and we'll see what it is specifically. Why might it be fearful to piss someone off in a small village, that you're dependent on for your belonging?

Tobi

Because they would always be there.

Christina Merkley

Yeah. So why, and what problem might that create if they're always there and they're pissed off at you?

Tobi

I think the relationship becomes more important because there's only this small set of relationships that you have in the village. It's not, okay, I used to have this friend who lives in my district in the big city, but now we don't really talk anymore, no problem. It's, I will still see that person day to day.

Christina Merkley

So why is that a problem, if day to day you see somebody who has bad feelings with you? Let's talk generally. These things can happen in consciousness at a personal level, at a group level, and also at the collective level, and I can see all three of these, frankly. So why, for human beings at large, let's take it more general, why for human beings at large who live in a village with a small amount of people, why might it be problematic, or even fearful, if somebody's pissed off in that small group towards you?

Tobi

I guess that goes evolutionary. That goes back to being pushed away by the tribe.

Christina Merkley

Exactly.

Tobi

It's life threatening, in a way.

Christina Merkley

Exactly.

Tobi

And I also don't mind sharing a bit of the personal background. For me as a child this was also a big theme. There were three boys of the same age and these were my friends, and if they weren't my friends anymore then there was nobody there, like in the morning when you wait for the school bus, because there are only these few people. So having this small set, it becomes much more risky, in a way, to lose that relationship, or to damage that relationship.

Christina Merkley

There's the exile. This seemingly not-big-deal situation in the now, this is where projection comes in, because it reminds the psyche of something similar that would have been a big alarm in the past. So your exile gets raised in your now adult situation. These things aren't logical, they're so fast and so instinctual. But already you're getting the match: that situation with her had an overlay and it brought you to this younger situation here, you and your three friends in your small village, and, oh, if somebody's angry at me this is a big deal, this is really important. Now we're transported almost in time back to this little boy. The invitation, if you care to, you asked about the exile, here he is. Maybe something happened, like you're saying, maybe you come back to a certain, it probably happened repeatedly if you just have the three friends. Maybe there's a particular one that flashed. Where do you go when you think of your three friends and something going wrong?

Tobi

So I have one specific situation in mind. We were walking through the village.

Christina Merkley

Let's hear it, if you're okay.

Tobi

Yeah. Where one of them would say, we go now to this other friend, and you can't come. I don't know what the context was. I was, I guess, five years old or something. That's sort of a strong anchor, in a way, that still is stuck with me.

Christina Merkley

Sure.

Tobi

I went home, I guess. I don't remember clearly. But I was exiled.

Christina Merkley

Yeah, there. A literal exile. And I'm just going to invite you to drop into your body. You might want to put a hand, if it feels right, on your chest, and maybe one on your belly. I'm introducing the mind to the heart and to the belly, because there's a lot operating up here and it's looking down at it: well, I think I went home. So it is staying away from the body, because it's threatening to go into the feelings of it. But I'm going to invite you to actually drop into the body. And you're back travelling, and your adult you is standing in front of that little boy. We can freeze the other friends, they've just said, hey, you can't come, and little you is there. And now that we've done this little time travel and this man has shown up in front of him, you're his future self. So just let him know, hey, you're so important that I'm travelling back. If you don't mind saying, how old are you right now?

Tobi

36.

Christina Merkley

Okay. Your 36-year-old is going in front of this five-year-old. As you come into his time and place, and those friends are frozen for a second, this little boy's having some understandable reactions, like you said, about belonging. Anything you notice, and you might want to even jump into his body and give me a report from his body. What is it for him? His friends just said, you can't come.

Tobi

It feels literally pushed aside.

Christina Merkley

Yeah.

Tobi

So, hurt. I don't know.

Christina Merkley

Yes.

Tobi

Loneliness.

Christina Merkley

Good. Yes. Now, bringing your consciousness back to your now adult self who's in front of him. You're his future self. What are your natural instincts? You're a father, are you not? So in a way, you're going to be a father to your younger self. What are your instincts, just like you would have for your own child? Here's this little one at five who's feeling pushed aside, hurt and lonely. He's having some big emotions. What are your natural instincts?

Tobi

Yeah, I pick him up, I give him a hug.

Christina Merkley

Yay, please. So, picking up that little five-year-old and giving him a hug.

Tobi

And I say, it's okay.

Christina Merkley

It's okay. Anything else? You lived it, so what did happen? Maybe you can let him know, hey, you lived, you went on. I don't know what happened with those friends, but from your perspective, what can you share with him about that moment?

Tobi

It will be fine.

Christina Merkley

It'll be fine.

Tobi

They are going to outgrow this, and you will stay really good friends with one of them, at least.

Christina Merkley

Okay. And anything you want to explain to him about the other one?

Tobi

He has his own share of trouble that he's working through, and all that he's doing is just because he's afraid himself. So you don't need to be afraid.

Christina Merkley

Yeah. He's got his own share of trouble, he's afraid, he is working through his own fear. He had his own kind of reactions, and it is okay, you don't need to go there, you can leave him to have his own feelings. And the other ones outgrow it and they remain your buddies, just this one particular guy. How does your little one respond to that information?

Tobi

He can relax.

Christina Merkley

Yay. All right. Does he have any other questions for you, or is he fine now?

Tobi

Maybe this, like, okay, so what do we do now with the rest of the day? This question.

Christina Merkley

Yeah. And so, any response back to that? What do you say to him?

Tobi

We can just go home, and you can enjoy being by yourself. Which is something that would never occur to that child.

Christina Merkley

So, not such a capacity to be alone, or to enjoy himself. He always has to have others. Okay. How's his response then to, hey, let's go home, you can just enjoy yourself by yourself at home? Is that an oh, okay? Or does he have a yeah-but?

Tobi

Maybe a yeah-but, in terms of, can you stay with me? And then I can say, I will always be with you.

Christina Merkley

Yeah. Sweet.

Tobi

If you need me.

Christina Merkley

Yes. Good. How does he respond?

Tobi

He can relax.

Christina Merkley

Good. Just getting it down: I'll always be with you if you need me. So in a way you've introduced an ally. You are his ally, you out there in the future, and him knowing you exist brings relaxation to him. So even though this is happening now at this age, it's trippy, because now, back there, your consciousness has got it that it has a future self who will be with him at any time. So he never has to be alone if he doesn't want to be.

Tobi

Yeah.

Christina Merkley

Try that on, mind.

Tobi

And actually, yeah, it's powerful. And actually, if I look at, as we progress on that path that is on your template, it occurs to me that there is also a future version of me that can come back to me, to the 36-year-old,

Christina Merkley

Yes.

Tobi

and always be with me as I need them.

Christina Merkley

Excellent. I call it the future, future self. Sometimes you have to go future future, because it keeps on going. So as you feel into that future self, which one's going to emerge for you? What's your intuition? Which one comes streaming towards you? Because in a way, you in the now, you too could use an ally. It's wonderful having future selves, the aspect of our consciousness that's ahead of our current consciousness. Like I said, best coach in the world. So who kind of alerts you? How far out, you're 36 now, how far out is this one who's letting you know right now, hey, I'm here for you?

Tobi

I guess mid fifties.

Christina Merkley

Oh, okay. So what is that, 55-ish? Okay, so,

Tobi

55 sounds good.

Christina Merkley

55-year-old self. Hey, 55-year-old, nice to meet you, you'll remember me, I'm Christina. Your now self has just connected with the exile, and the exile, the little five-year-old, knows that the 36-year-old is always there for him. Now we've just got to get the 36-year-old to understand that he has people always there for him too. So, as you come into consciousness here with your future self, I'll leave it to you and your future self. Just notice if anything happens. Is there anything that future self does, or that you want to do or ask, with future self?

Tobi

I guess he also gives me a hug first,

Christina Merkley

Yes, please.

Tobi

and then he sits down on the couch and puts his arms on the back of the couch, like in this very relaxed, I-own-this-room way. Not in a dominating sense, but in a kind of, I can occupy, I can be here, I can be in this room.

Christina Merkley

Yeah, excellent. So, occupying, right on.

Tobi

Maybe with a glass of whiskey.

Christina Merkley

Ha. All right.

Tobi

I have this expensive bottle of whiskey that I got from a friend and that I never get to drink these days, but maybe that would be a good occasion to share that.

Christina Merkley

Excellent. So you're having a little whiskey there with your future self. Excellent. Now, this is wonderful. Just like your five-year-old had your 36-year-old as the counsel, I'll do this a lot with people in their now, professionally and personally. Yes, we can come to coaches, but I find it very effective as a coach to hook people up with their future selves and go, ask your future self. So, anything you want to ask your future self about your now? Maybe it's about this particular friend and they want to weigh in on that, or maybe it's about something else.

Tobi

Yeah, maybe one theme could be: should I, or will I, go back to that village to live there? Or do we stay in the big city where we are now?

Christina Merkley

Great question. I'm going to go ahead and present it and see what happens.

Tobi

And I think the future self is more of that city person who still goes back to the village and enjoys the time being there. Goes to the local sort of mini Oktoberfest that is there once a year, and is in touch with that world and at peace with that world, but is also not really part of that world. Is a guest in that world, I think.

Christina Merkley

So that's what he's communicating. How does that land for you, the now self, as your wisdom, apparently from the future self, is saying, yeah, we visit, we don't really return fully there, but we go back?

Tobi

Yeah, feels right.

Christina Merkley

If you have a yeah-but, or if you have any follow up questions, feel free.

Tobi

Yeah. I'm wondering, my mom is still in that village, and being there with her draws me back.

Christina Merkley

Yeah.

Tobi

But I think the sense that I get from the 55-year-old is that it'll be fine, and commuting life, we will be part of it. And that's fine, actually, for both her and for me.

Christina Merkley

Okay, great. What's your response to that? How does that land in your body? Any buts, any further questions?

Tobi

There's this, me saying that I enjoy train rides anyway, so that will be fine, I guess.

Christina Merkley

So we go, two places where life is happening, being a child of both the village and the city. Nice. City and village.

Tobi

Yeah.

Christina Merkley

Great. And so, just see if anything else comes up now that you have your future self here. Anything else you want to comment on, on that particular topic? Or maybe there's something else.

Tobi

Yeah, there is this sense of, it will be fine, and they will be fine also. Thinking about that other friend now, from the village.

Christina Merkley

Yeah, it's going to work out. That's what he's saying. They're going to be okay, you're going to be okay, and

Tobi

Yeah. There's this phrase, it will pass, that comes to mind.

Christina Merkley

About this particular feelings and stuff that that friend's having, and her upset?

Tobi

Yeah. And everything else.

Christina Merkley

Okay, good point. Everything. It will pass. There's some ancient wisdom there. It will pass.

Tobi

Yeah.

Christina Merkley

It'll pass, it'll be okay. Excellent. And you too can call on him at any time. We'll check, I'm assuming, usually future selves are okay with doing that. You can see how easy it is to connect. You might want to check, how do you get in contact with him? Same for that younger one back in the day. If you just think about them, see how easily you were able to interact just now. So it's really quite simple to do, funny enough. But is there anything the two of you want to set up between each other about how you get in contact with each other,

Tobi

Yeah, I think that image of the couch and the whiskey, that's a nice way to bring it to life.

Christina Merkley

That's beautiful. So you just take a little trip, go meet him at the couch with the whiskey and pull up your chair. That's the perfect place to have a little counsel with him. Love it. Anything from him, anything he wants to add?

Tobi

You're doing great.

Christina Merkley

Excellent, good to know. And just really take that in, take in his praise of you and his support. I'm just noticing where you feel that.

Tobi

Yeah. In my shoulders, on my sides.

Christina Merkley

Nice. It's really solidifying, right? The other one was in the lungs, and here's the chest coming on, the shoulders, the sides. Lovely. And just, yes, please. Yes, please to that, because it responded. We're working with consciousness at large and energy, and your field just responded with what you're feeling in the shoulders and the sides. And we're just like, yes, please. And same thing: hey, you can stretch out even more if you like. Embody, occupy. Hi. Now we'll just see if there's anything else future self wants to communicate before the two of you continue on your way.

Tobi

I think it's good. It'll pass. It'll be okay. You're doing great.

Christina Merkley

Yep.

Tobi

That's three nice ones.

Christina Merkley

Succinct, nice messages. Very clear to get across. Good. All right, so with that, saying goodbye to that future self, just checking on the exile: how's the exile doing?

Tobi

Hardly there. It seems away somehow, very much in the background of that image.

Christina Merkley

That's good, right? Because he was upset, now he's happy, he's at home and he's fine being at home, because he's got you as backup if ever needed. So, satisfied and happy. That's wonderful, that's good news by the sounds of it. Well, I think we might be there. Any final words, anything that future self, anything that consciousness, anything you notice going on in your body at this point in time?

Tobi

It feels right. It feels like after a good evening, like an evening that was full and rich, but also complete.

Christina Merkley

Beautiful. Let me get that down. So you said complete, full. What else do you feel there, rich? Yay. Okay, completion. These are all coming: full, rich. We're ending on rich, great place to end. Oh, yes, please. And then just inviting that: oh, come on in, you're welcome here. Hi, complete. Hi, full. Hi, rich. You're welcome here, come on in. Occupy, stretch on out, I'm here, you're welcome to come in more fully into me. Thank you, thank you. And you may even literally feel, if they respond, I can feel them respond, I feel my own nervous system go, oh, we're getting a little high. A little stoned is the word, just from consciousness. It's like, oh yeah, this feels good, it feels nice to feel complete and full and rich. Yes, please.

Tobi

Thank you.

Christina Merkley

What an inquiry. Gorgeous. I'm just going to get these ones. And everyone is different, right? Every inquiry that happens, for every person, or for yourself at different points of time. We go into the now and we meet what's there, and it will unfold in its own unique way. And, funny enough, not funny, because you wanted to speak more about and feel more, experience more about the parts. How wonderful, we had many parts come out. The controller parts came up early, deep bows to them, the exile showed himself, and your allies, your future self, and you being an ally to your younger self, came. So we had a nice foray of parts work just naturally happening as we met what unfolded today. So there's more I would do with the puttering of this, but let me do one final thing I'd like to do while it's still all fresh, which is to put a title on top.

Tobi

Meeting the grownup, maybe.

Christina Merkley

Ooh, lovely. Yeah, cool. Meeting the grownup. Let me get to it.

Tobi

Oh, wow.

Christina Merkley

Yeah, a nice big one, for impact. I'll just highlight it even more with my big fat marker here. I'll do a little more puttering, but we've got the base laid in, and again, it's all inside of you from the energetic side of it. So they just complement each other. So I guess I would say, you asked me that question earlier, right, what's going on for the person, why would anybody be interested in doing visuals with their process work? It's wonderful to talk about it, thank you for bringing me in and giving the context, but it's so experiential, so it's very different when you're sitting in the hot seat like you are. Any reports from over there? How was it for you? Anything you noticed?

Tobi

Yeah, it feels, I like this word complete that we wrote down, it feels like a puzzle coming together, in a way, like two puzzle pieces. I can feel that hug of the adult and the child, in a way.

Christina Merkley

Beautiful.

Tobi

And I've done hypnotherapy in the past, in fact, so I know that feeling and that experience, but I think adding this visual element makes it very tangible. I can actually take this home now, and that's really amazing.

Christina Merkley

Yes, please, yes, please to that. So that's part of the why I've continued along for years here, because if people didn't respond to it I wouldn't have continued on. But not only have I continued on in my practice, working visually, the field at large has gone across the world. And then I have the delight of being able to pass these specific skills on to people, of integrating them into the work that they do with individuals. Because the base skills can be applied to a lot of different process work. We're just giving one example, and this is just a tiny smidge of how visuals can be applied to different kinds of process work with individuals, but a good smidge, a useful smidge. So, I guess to anybody listening, I would just say, consider, with what you do with your work, if you are, not everybody does, but some people

Tobi

So I guess, for all listeners out there, of course the most obvious thing to do would be now to join Christina on one of her satsangs to experience this a bit more, or possibly take the visual SHIFT-IT training. And another way to take this lightly, and there I'd also be curious to hear your thoughts, Christina, would maybe be to do this on digital whiteboards, if you are coaching online. I think everybody knows Mural, Miro and so on. And what we have here at metaFox is one where we also sort of work with templates. This example is a discovery call, so basically the first call with a hypothetical client, John Doe, where we would map this out. And of course this is much less visual than what you do, but I think it has

Christina Merkley

It is happening. And I had some conversations in the middle of the pandemic with Mural, and I see they continue to evolve with their connections with facilitators and with different kinds of templates and things that are emerging. And it is natural. It was fascinating to be part of the visual field. I was also connected with things like the constellation world, constellation as the modality, and what happened is the pandemic hit and people who were not working digitally were forced to figure it out. And so such expansions have happened, with facilitation, with coaching, with different kinds of personal growth modalities. And at first glance, seeing here, excellent. Because it doesn't matter, in my opinion, the level of the aesthetic. Of course people will respond to different things, but moving it into the visual terrain and being able to do things like sticky notes and stuff that we can do in person, to be able to actually have a fluid way. And what you're doing, correct me if I'm wrong, has the potential of, so far I have not used Mural, but some of my students have, for the SHIFT-IT process or other processes that they're doing, they're creating a home online and the client can join up within that platform and actually build. So part of what I do is, it's more on me, but anything that can evolve where the client gets in there themselves and rolls up their own digital sleeves and moves things around and creates and names things, I think the better. And with the facilitation work we wanted to do that too. You get into breakout groups, you want to equip people as much as possible. Some people are intimidated, some people aren't. But if you make that technology easy enough to

Tobi

Yeah. And this is very much what we are trying to do here. In the next step we could now say, let's actually use those cards. And again, that's slightly different, but this is the work we do here: which image now would describe my vision? Let me add this. Or, talking about parts, that's also something we are trying to make really easy, by saying, okay, where do we have the child that's

Christina Merkley

Yes. And there with the theme of the people, somebody in your team,

Tobi

yeah, that's what we visualized, that's our designer's work, with some back and forth. And now we could do what we've done, like this: they don't want me here. Making that visual.

Christina Merkley

For sure. The messages, exactly. That's powerful. That's fascinating to see.

Tobi

So if you want to get started, this is another way. And what would be your call, Christina, for anybody who is now fascinated by this combination of inner parts and visualization? What would be your final words to take home?

Christina Merkley

Well, I would assume the people who find themselves here have already been on the path of following their instincts and following their resonance. And I'm just one person in your series that you're building here. So I would just say, keep following your instincts. Yes, there might be something in what I've laid on the coffee table that is of interest to certain individuals. Over the course of your podcasts and series, and all the different people, and the work that you do at large, there's a whole smorgasbord, right? There's a whole smorgasbord out there with working visually. Of course there are other modalities too. I always did, and it certainly went against the advice that I got from my esteemed family, said with affection, to continue along with this magnificent, fun work. And I'm so glad that I did, that I had the inner fortitude to keep going towards what I found personally meaningful and what I found interesting and fascinating. And maybe I'm stubborn or something, but I didn't believe that the only way to live life was to do it in ways that felt very staid or boring or even stupefying. You have to mitigate risk, so I'm not saying go crazy, mitigate risk, but still go towards those things even if they feel risky. Find some low

Tobi

Follow the resonance.

Christina Merkley

Follow your resonance.

Tobi

I like that.

Christina Merkley

And mitigate your risk. But keep moving. Keep following the resonance.

Tobi

Thank you, Christina.

Christina Merkley

You're welcome. Thank you, Tobias. I've enjoyed it.

Tobi

This was my visual self-inquiry with Christina Merkley. If you want to find out more about Christina, her coaching offers and her visual coach training, go to shift-it-coach.com. If you want to explore how working with visuals in your own practice, and even with one of Christina's visual map templates, can look, you can also go to metaFox Online, the platform we explored at the end of today's session. Christina gave us one of her free templates and we made it available as a template on the platform. You can try it all for free for three sessions, and afterwards you can sign up as a pro with our super low early bird price and Christina's partner code, SHIFTIT20, which gives you 20 percent off forever, and also supports Christina's work. I am Tobi, co-founder of metaFox, and this was The Impactful Coach. If you liked the episode, share it with a friend and subscribe. All the best on your own journey of becoming an impactful coach, and see you back here in two weeks. Bye bye.