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Impactful Coach
Episode 39Interview47 min

Executive Coaching and Preparing your State for Difficult Conversations with Nils Cornelissen

with Nils Cornelissen, Founder at Return on Meaning

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Show notes

A coaching podcast with Nils I. Cornelissen and Tobias Weghorn on why leadership coaching in times of transformation starts with the leader, not the org chart. Drawing from his work with executive teams in large corporations, Nils shares why organizational change management so often fails even when the strategy looks “right” on paper. You’ll hear practical ways to stay “above the line” (vs. “below the line”) in difficult conversations, including tiny questions that build ownership and a short centering routine for high-stakes moments. It’s a candid look at emotional intelligence for leaders, self-management, and how to model the mindset you want to see across the organization.


Key Learnings:

  • Use leadership coaching to shift ownership back to the team: when someone asks for a solution, respond with “What have you already tried?”, “Who have you talked to?”, and “What do you need from me?” to support adult-to-adult leadership.
  • In executive team coaching, normalize noticing the “above the line below the line mindset”: watch for cues like “I’m right, they’re wrong” or “I’m surrounded by idiots” as early warning signs you’ve slipped into reactive mode.
  • Before a difficult conversation, train emotional intelligence for leaders with a 60-second reset: sigh/breathe out, relax shoulders, feel your stance, then actively generate gratitude and empathy (“Why might their reaction make sense?”) to re-enter a creative state.


Resources:


Episode Chapters:

00:06 “How Are You Going To Change?” Starting with the Leader

00:12 Coaching the Solution Out of the Client (Not Solving It for Them)

00:14 The 3 Questions That Build Ownership (Treat People Like Adults)

00:22 Preparing for the Boardroom: Your Mindset Is the Tool

00:25 The 60-Second Centering Routine (Sigh, Gratitude, Empathy)

00:33 Above the Line Below the Line Mindset in Executive Team Coaching

00:35 Inner Thermometers: How to Notice You’ve Gone Reactive

00:42 Training Emotional Intelligence for Leaders (Momentum Program)

Transcript

Full transcript, edited for readability. Every timestamp jumps the video to that moment.

Nils Cornelissen: I usually have some form of top executive, and he or she rings me and says, I want my people to behave differently, they should change. Right? And my first question is usually, well, how are you going to change? Tobi: What are your thermometers to actually notice, oops, I fell below the line? I'm not thinking about them, I'm thinking about myself. The most important tool in any of my conversations is my own mindset, and we talked about humility and about gratefulness. How do you prepare yourself today? Nils Cornelissen: It is very simple. So you can join me actually, if you want to.

Read the full transcript

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